We work day in day out to ensure our dream comes through. We work to realize our plan. We work for the compensation to support our daily need. We work for the future we are dream of. We work to satisfy our needs.
However, what we are working on always comes with various results. Some of the works are done perfectly. Some of the works need final touch-up. While for some of the works you wish you are not doing it at all.
Some of the works are awaiting others’ action to finish it. There’s nothing much you can do since you’ve done your part.
Some of the work cannot be done because of you. Others done their part but when it comes to your turn, it gets stuck. You are solely to be blame for that matter. And yes, it’s your fault.
To most people this is very painful. Never mind if we cannot do the work. We can always ask others to help. Never mind if there is no result as along as we have done all we could. Never mind if the work was failed because of others. It is none of your business. You cannot worry about the whole world.
But, if you are the one who cause the problem and you know it very well, the feeling is so different. For me, it is very painful to face this situation. Very few people want to become the one who cause the problem. Majority people want to become the problem solver: not the one who causes the problem.
Most people can take it if they fail in their venture. But the one who cause the failure suffer the most. This situation where “ I rather die in the accident rather than the one who cause the accident and killed those person in the other vehicle” is real. The feeling is not fun and you wish you are someone else. You wish the problem is not caused by you.
The reality: you will face this situation, like it or not. When? Nobody knows. One thing for sure is you would.
You are not intending to be bad. If you know it, for sure you will not doing anything that can cause such problem. You try to convince those affected with all sort of excuses. In reality, you try to comfort yourself that what you are doing is not that bad.
Understand: You are an ordinary human being. You and me are so rich of emotion. This situation is highly emotional. Therefore it is not something that is easy to endure.
Those who are affected by the situation are highly emotional too. Another challenge is to go through emotional flood of many involves. Including yours.
How to go through it?
There are Four Steps you need to work on:
- Absorb the blow. This is no fun at all. But you have to do it. Yes, it is painful, emotionally. But you have no other ways because the next choice is to flee. But where? Absorb the blow by accept whatever the reaction of the failure. Don’t try to defend yourself. Get fainted if you have too. Apologize even if you have to say “I’m sorry” for gazillions of times. Control your emotion. Better still; “switch off” your emotional radar. Go back home, take a shower, and then go to bed: sleep. Nothing much you can do. After all, God will take away your sorrow after twenty-four hours. Really.
- Pray. Talk to God. He is the Creator. He is the one who create you, me and the rest. He knows what is happening. In fact He is the one who plan and doing all this. If He is the one who create you and me, then rest assure that He is the one who behind all this. He wants you to learn something from it. Something that will mould you as you are growing. The very clothes you are wearing fifteen years ago are surely not fit on you now. So are the lessons you need to get through.
- Continue what you are doing. The very last thing God want you to do is to quit. And that is also the very first thing your enemy want you to do. If you are working in a company, don’t rushing to your boss’s office with resignation letter. Let him decide if he has to fire you. That is his problem. Not yours. Continue doing your work. If you are in business venture, sit down and re-strategize. Think of the next move. Think of how you can get rid off “the ashes”.
- Learn from it. You are facing this situation because you need to learn something. Anything that doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. The best lesson is always the one that leaves behind the most scars.
Understand: Nobody want to become the one who is the source of problem. Not you. Not me. But day in day out we are doing something that may cause problem to others in the future.
We wish we are not doing what we’ve done five years ago. We wish we are not meeting that fellow three months ago. Else we are not in this trouble. But what we wish always come in opposite direction. The keyword is “learn”.
Conclusion: What you are doing now may cause problem to someone else in the future. Deal with it wisely. Follow the four steps above then you’ll be fine.
Final reminder: You and me have to go through this.
